Why I chose Essential Oils.

A little over a year ago I jumped into the Essential Oil world. My parents helped me to get a Starter Kit to Young Living and off I went. This was not a choice that I made spur of the moment. As a matter of fact I researched for MONTHS trying to decide which company that I would join. In the end... I joined Young Living because of the fact that a friend from church was a member and when I became a part of her down line it benefited her as well as myself. To me it felt right to step into this new world with a friend.

Regardless of which company I was going to choose I KNEW I was going to step into oils. I have been fascinated by them since I was in college. But when oils started making a real presence in my life was when I had children. I am the mommy of a child with many severe food allergies. We carry epi-pens and inhalers everywhere we go, because when you have many allergies the whole world can feel like it is dangerous. Our first trip to the hospital for an allergic reaction happened when she was two because of cashews and that was only the start of our road. Cashews seemed like something we could avoid easily enough... but when dairy products, eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts of many different kinds made the list we were starting to get pretty concerned. When Beef caused an anaphylactic  response... we were pretty convinced we would never be able to eat in a restaurant again. 

Eventually our fears eased and we got pretty good at fielding all of the potential dangers in our life. Luckily in our large and extended family she was NOT the only child with food allergies... and so... we all knew to warn the parents of the children with special food needs. Still our diet was pretty clean. Most of our foods were made at home and a lot of items that others can get from a box... I learned how to make from scratch. But... there were always times things slipped through. And the more that I researched the more I noticed that often an allergic response could actually show up BEHAVIORALLY. Sometimes if something would slip past we would have sensitivity and emotional issues for DAYS. I made mention of this on facebook one day... and a friend said WHOA... wait let me help... and off she sent a sample of oils. This oil was... simply put.. magic. Using the roller bottle on my little one could literally change her emotional direction in a couple of minutes. I truly don't have another word for it... MAGIC. My other daughter has a severe allergy to mosquito bites. It is just awful... and last year... we used oils from my friend to curb the response. Instead of the mild cellulitis spreading from the bite... they were almost immediately smaller and less swollen. I was sold. Last year was the first year that we were not at the doctor on an antibiotic with a steroid because of a stupid bite and it was enough to make me jump. 

In the last year I have learned a lot about oils. I have used them to help support the health of my family in ways I never would have imagined when I bought my first bottle of Patchouli oil when I was in my teens. :D I probably will post every now and then about ways that oils help my family. I may post recipes every now and then. I have a page... you can visit and you can order from it. That is NOT what I want this page to be about though.. so while I have a link I will try my hardest to NOT make this page an advertisement. Still.... oils have become a large part of my life. And I am not exaggerating too much when I say that the oils have indeed changed my life. And just a warning I may not be able to curb my enthusiasm when it comes to certain oils or blends. 

Mindfulness Thy name is crochet

I struggled with the title... lol Zen and the Art of Crochet kept popping in and I kept refusing it. When I worked at Borders there were at least a dozen different titles with Zen and the Art of....... Truly though for my self I use crochet to help me to find that zen spot. I use it when I need to get in touch and when I particularly need to get in touch with my own sense of self. As I once told you I have been knitting since I was in elementary school.... for me a simple pattern with lots of repeats helps me to settle into a meditative state. snick snick snick the needles go and I let my thoughts wonder and my mind go free. I fall into a zone and sometimes need to be called twice or three times in order to come back from that place. This having been my method of knitting for most of my life I kind of figured that crochet would do the same thing for me. ... a sort of walking meditation. Only I very quickly realized that it wasn't for me.
 Crochet takes a conscious effort on my part. I have to be active rather than passive as my work unfolds. Crochet is also the barometer for how I am feeling at the moment.... or sometimes about the thing that keeps popping into my mind as I am working. I find that if I am tense in anyway my stitches get tighter and tighter. As my stitches start to close in on themselves my gauge gets thrown off and the item I am working on will change sizes. This isn't a big issue perhaps on a dish cloth... but it can be on something you want to offer to another as a gift.... or say on that blanket I made for my daughter where the edge closes in and then comes back out and closes in again. Needless to say THAT project stay right here in this house.
During the "dark years" when I had lost all the babies and I had none to hold... I couldn't crochet. I tried. And with in minutes my work would be so tight that I couldn't even get my crochet hook back into the loops. During this time I knit... I knit and I let my thoughts go through me so that I could let them go... because some of the thoughts that come are meant to go THROUGH you not stay with you. Knitting allowed me to do that.
For a long time I thought that I didn't like to crochet because of this... because I had to actively work at getting those stitches down right. With time though I realized that I WANTED to be better at crochet, so I knew I would have to focus my intentions and make it happen. One day at a time... one project at a time... I have worked until my hands can keep an even tension... and my work can be as beautiful as I want it to be. The other day as I sat to crochet I was in a place that was less than ideal and after a few short minutes I realized this and quieted sought that peace in side and let go.... I let go of what I was holding onto so that what NEEDED to come through me could.
As a Spiritualist I have learned Magic Staff of Andrew Jackson Davis. As a Morris Pratt Student I have thought on it long and hard:

Behold, here is thy Magic Staff, 

Under all Circumstances Keep an Even Mind:

Take it, Try it, Walk with it, Talk with it, lean on it 

Believe on it forever. 

I have looked at these words over and over trying to make them my own in some way. I have taken it tried it and walked with it... and I have seen the physical lesson of it in my crochet. I go to that crochet now... when I need to calm, when I need to summon that even mind. I use the stitches now to find the peace that I need. The lessons that I learned as I focused ACTIVELY on making each crochet stitch even and as I mindfully approached the work perfectly embody what the Magic Staff is saying. And as I sit mindfully working and allowing emotions that make me clench or tighten flow through me and then away from me... I realize that keeping an even mind can at times help me to make more emotionally intelligent decisions. I have come to realize that if I take a step back at times I am able to move forward many more paces than what I could have originally. 

So as I work actively to keep even stitches... I work to keep an even mind... and I realize that sometimes we need a moment to knit and let everything just flow through us easily and with no thought.... and sometimes we need to actively work at keeping an even mind. Both are equally as valid... both weave the beautiful fabric of our lives. 

To Channel a Purse

My Grand mother taught me to crochet when I was in highschool. It was an amazing afternoon. The Saturday after Thanksgiving I went and made fruitcakes with her to hand out to family for Christmas. During the cook times... she got out a hook and some yarn and taught me something that she loved. I was a knitter my mom had taught me at an early age.. and it is said that people can do one or the other well, typically not both. My first attempt at crochet was a dish cloth and true to typical first time crochet I made a triangle because I forgot to chain when turning. My mother kept it even though I have since given her much better cloths to use. I suppose now that I have children of my own I understand. I have sitting on my shelf over my sink a couple of pieces of decorated packing peanuts.... and I will keep them until they dissolve because of who they were made by and how proud that little lady was to hand it to me. 

My granny passed in September of 2014. It was ... a blow to me. She was 90... I knew it was coming. We all did. But that didn't change the fact that I had somehow convinced myself that she would live forever. and I would have been glad to have it that way. Since she passed my fingers have itched to pick up crochet. I have some nerve issues in my hands... they come and go. Some days I can crochet for hours... some days I can't hold a pen very well. Last Fall those issues hit a pinnacle of suckiness and I could not crochet like I wanted. By spring I was back to mostly normal and able to knit and crochet again THANK GOD... because any one who knows me... knows that is my way of keeping sane. 

Our church is having an Auction and as my arms and hands have been pretty good lately... I decided that I would crochet some potholders. But what happened was drastically different than I had expected. I sat down to make potholders and started to hear a little  voice in my head telling me that I should do this and this to change the pattern. The next thing I realized is that... this was no longer a pot holder... it was instead a purse, and as I was listening and following the instructions that were being given to me it was unfolding PERFECTLY... not ONE error. You must understand... as much as I love to crochet I still end up with meandering edges and weird shaped stitches. I WANT to be good at it... but... well I certainly am not as good as I would LIKE TO be... until recently. As I follow these whispered instructions I am turning out purses that are perfect without needing to rip it out. The other thing that happened was that... as I was crocheting this purse... a name was given to me... and I knew with no hesitation that the purse was intended to GO TO THAT PERSON. I wanted to rebel... because I was making these things for the church auction... which... I eventually DID do... but I was filled with the certainty that THIS purse was intended for a specific person... with a specific purpose. I mailed the first one to a friend... who wrote back that I had MADE HER DAY... and that getting something like that was EXACTLY what she needed that day as she had just lost a friend. I finished that first purse and sat down to make a potholder. DAMMIT JIM.... I was donating a POTHOLDER. It happened again. This purse was a different pattern... and once again it was "whispered" in my ear and as I followed the instructions that were given a PERFECT purse unfolded. And as that purse unfolded the individual who I was supposed to send the purse to was told to me. INTERESTING this time... it was not a name or a picture of a face like it was the time before... this time it was " Her birthday is next week" And I KNEW... I just KNEW who that was. I finished that purse and then I picked out another yarn and started what I KNEW this time was going to be a purse.... and yet again it was a DIFFERENT PATTERN and Once again it was PERFECTLY executed. This time... I heard... a tsk sound before my name that I knew with out a doubt and " Melissa... your mom is going to love this one." OH Granny... you must be missing crochet is all I can say... because you are working my hands in a CRAZY way. I am mid-crochet on a 4th purse... and this one... is yet again different... and I have no doubt will be PERFECT... and this one is for " the vegetable girl" A person who I knew immediately by the description... and so... as soon as it is finished it will be mailed to said " vegetable girl." 

For the record... I remember the patterns that I have been given... and I have made... purses for the church auction rather than potholders. When I told people at church about the experience one of the ladies said " We all know about Chanel purses... but this is the first CHANNELED purse." And you know what... that may be the case... as a medium and a Spiritualist I know that this is an expression of God... and I am so very grateful for this inspiration in my life. Pictured... are photos of the purses that I have donated for auction at church.... it is a facebook auction... if you are interested in having a channeled purse... go on over to the facebook page for Spiritualist Chapel in the Woods... there is time... the auction will start in September. 

Art and the pursuit of happiness.

ART: the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power

the various branches of creative activity, such as painting, music, literature, and dance.

I had an interesting response to something that I posted on facebook the other day. I posted a graphic that said how to be an artist... make art is it awesome is it terrible... make more art you are an artist. I posted it because in my mind it was something that stated a message I think more of us need to hear. That ART is not intended to be perfect... that sometimes what we hate can make a great impact. Tchaikovsky in fact did not consider his most popular piece to be art. The Nutcracker was intended as a bedtime story for his children. Here we are  100 years later and nearly everyone in the world has heard of The Nutcracker. My sister in law has a degree in Art and is an artist by trade.... and she put on that graphic " I don't know whether to be offended by that or not." 
My intention was not to offend... but I can see where that might be there. She has worked hard to get that degree and to have someone look at it as less than the hard work that it was probably stings. That said I apologize if any offense was felt. I recognize that feeling when people with out malice say things like " What do you DO all day?" or "Don't you get sick of being with your kids all day long?" or some other similar statement that comes from not understanding what a stay home wife and mother does to make a household work. So I have been on that side of the equation. 
Still the questions remain in my head... WHAT is it that decides that it is ART? My children are prodigious producers of ... artwork. Something that I encourage. I find that the craftier they are in a day the less they fight, it is a truly amazing equation. Taryn learns better through songs and drawing... She expresses herself eloquently with pen and paper, At the age of one she drew a skull that even a person who didn't have kids could tell was a skull... and by two you could tell exactly what she was drawing often times. Both girls are extremely musical and often make up their own songs to learn new things with. Ashlynn and Taryn when left to their own devices with craft supplies can come up with AMAZING things. 
I myself am a singer. I have been singing since I was young and while I don't make my living doing so I make it a large part of my life. As you can tell I also love to write and I take photos so much my children have adapted to be able to see with permanent flash blind. I also do needlework, often people I love end up with that handiwork as a Christmas or birthday presents. It took years before I looked at that as even in the realm of artwork. To me it has been an expression of self... so necessary that it is almost difficult to separate them from myself. But is it ART? 
I suppose it is in a way... I have always called it craft... as if it is somehow different. So let's see if it IS different ..... 

CRAFT: an activity involving skill in making things by hand. 

Well.. that definition certainly leaves a lot to be desired. And it certainly does NOT serve to clarify for me whether art is craft or craft is art. Still... the question remains inside of me. Does then the difference between craft and art mean the difference between its USEFULNESS? Am I simply over thinking things that don't need to be even thought about or considered. Art seems to run the gamut from beautiful to horrifying and everything in between... it also seems to cover every base between useful and useless. I don't guess that I will get the answers by writing about it here. Still... often the writing helps to clarify the thinking. 

A trip down memory lane... and maybe a time to pick those memories up again.

I have been playing with the idea of needing to write again. I have been told again and again by people I love that I SHOULD be. So many things that get in the way... so many days that go by with nothing more than keeping up with the demands of a household. As time goes by there is a forgetfulness that envelopes me. The active me forgets how the spirit me needs release every now and then. Also... I have found a new and different outlet... see... I have taken on the responsibility of becoming a Spiritualist minister... with that comes homework, tests, and a lot of new reading. As I picked this up I also started offering the message at church ( sermon if you will) and picked up mediumship and healing. Now... I KNOW that none of those things should interfere with what I can get onto a page... and probably should even ENHANCE IT. I am however a human and as this spirit is learning sometimes the physical needs to play a bit of catch-up. Oddly I have picked up my needlework again and I recently started to visit old stations on Pandora. I had a week where my children were with my parents and my husband was mostly at work. In that week.... I started picking up the parts of me that were dropped along the way. I haven't picked all of them up... and some of them don't fit like they used to, but it is a start.
I am trying to figure out where these new old parts belong... and why I dropped them to begin with. Music has always moved me in a way that I can hardly express. I saw a friend from a long time ago last week while the kids were away and I mentioned that I hadn't been listening to music in the last few years. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. " WHAT!?" she practically yells... " THAT IS NOT MELISSA!" and while I know this as truth... I can't seem to figure out when I stopped listening to music or why. I can't figure out why I put down my needlework not to pick it up... and I can't remember why I stopped reading for the pure pleasure of it. I feel like I have been the disappearing woman. I want myself back... I want to remember what it felt like to float with the music and disappear into a land that seems like it must be a dream. I want to be that whirling dervish again. I don't know how to be... so.. I pick up... and I move on from here.
One little step at a time... as I pick up the parts of me that have been left in places that speak to my heart.... I am finding out who this NEW Melissa is. Nope can't go to music festival or concert after concert any more.... but I can listen to the music on the computer and remember... and remember.... Have to split my time between parts of me that I love now and people who I love. Many of these parts I have lost were lost because my heart had to make space for new PEOPLE>.. and their likes and dislikes and their needs and as they grow... they will be less and less needful of me... and as that happens I can pick up more and more of my parts. I don't have to mourn them.... I can pull them out every now and then and smile and say.... "I remember you... let's dance again." and I will evaluate whether this is a part that can fit right now... or ever again... and I will evolve. For right now I am going to perhaps try to pick up writing again. Because there are few ways in this world that BETTER help me to figure out who I am and where I am going. So bear with me... as I don't always know what will come out of me.... and I don't know that it is really intended for a reader. Still..... I will bang away on this keyboard... and I will see where that takes me. And maybe just maybe you will find something of worth in what I have to say to myself.

Tis the season to give

I need to tell you about a little girl I know. Her name is Ashlynn and she amazes me every. single. day. Ashlynn has come up with several things this season that have just blown me away. Let me tell you about our week.
On monday we made thank you cards for a pantry that we have been visiting. You see we have hit some hard times since my husband injured himself... and this pantry has saved us. In more than one way. Not only do they offer much needed food, but also they offer up amazing sermons from their pastor while you wait... and I am hit almost every week by something he has said. So a thank you card is the least we can do. Our local dollar store has packets of thank you cards for 1.00. So we got a package of thank you cards and a package of markers and we said thank you. What happened next is amazing I can hardly tell you all about it. One of the ladies started crying... and then another... and then I started crying. Then they brought out packages of fruit treats and candy for the girls... and then there was some more crying as one of the ladies told me that volunteering has "saved her" this year... and to receive thanks like this hit her so hard. Ashlynn and Taryn were impressed by the reaction. It lasted most of the day with them.
Later that day Ashlynn asked if we could make Christmas cards and bring them to the store to hand out to the shoppers that are there. I asked if she wanted to make them for particular people or stores.... and she said " No just for people who might need to hear Merry Christmas" WOWZERS.... well yes darling we can. So we spent all day on Wednesday making cards that we are planning on giving out this weekend. We do not know where we are going yet only that we have a handful of cards... that we are going to give to perfect strangers... and the girls will decide WHO gets them when we are at the store.
On Tuesday she was looking over my shoulder while I was surfing facebook and I came across a post from someone who was putting together a care kit for homeless people. That struck her and we had a conversation that went something like this
" homeless mom does that mean they don't have a home?"
 Me "Yes Ashlynn that is what that means."
 Ashlynn " But mom it is really cold outside... you mean there are people who don't have a home to sleep in and keep them warm."
 Me " That is exactly what that means."
Ashlynn thought for a while and said " Mom we don't have a lot of money."
and I said " no but we have what we need."
Ashlynn " there are people who DON'T have what they need?"
Me " yes"
Ashlynn " well we should help them"
then she ran off to play. I thought it was the end of it. On Thursday however she started talking about needing to make a care package for homeless people. That glimmer of an idea has grown and grown... until I have jumped on board with her. We are working together to make a care package for people who are less fortunate than we are. We don't have much.... but we have more than someone who is living in a grocery cart. And because of that.... some of what we have is going to them. While I would have kept every penny to make what is going to be a very small Christmas in our house.... Ashlynn is looking to share it. She tells me over and over that Christmas isn't about the presents.... as she is aware that I am concerned about Christmas for the year. She hugs me and says as long as we are all together we will be okay. And then she reaches out to help those who don't have even as little as we do. This child humbles me. She just humbles me. And I am so glad to say that I know her.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

There is something about snow before Christmas that seems magical. After Christmas it becomes an annoyance.... but right up until and on the day of.... well that is part of the magic. We have had our snow. Sunday on the way home from church that snow nearly caused mayhem for our family personally even while it caused mayhem around the country ( here's looking at you Germantown Wi!)
IF it is going to snow however it is only DECENT for that snow to be the sort that can pack.... at least when you are or have kids. THIS snow not only nearly caused mayhem but it is NOT packable at all. Kind of offensive if you ask me. STILL we have gone out and thrown handfuls of snow at each other... most of which blew back into the throwers face. It made for a short snowball fight. Still what do you expect at four and six and well NOT your business. :-D Still we had a wonderful time and then came in for HOT Ovaltine. It was more fun than I can ever say. I thought all the fun came when you were a kid... until I started having fun WITH my kids. Then well MAN it is TOO TOO TOO Awesome being a mommy.
Christmas is the time for craftiness.... and we have been crafting with the best of them. We have made ornaments and cards... we have sent out cards to people we love and we have had so much fun. I had an entire list of activities and crafts for an advent calendar.... but then we got sick... and the first week of December there was little chance of sticking to any plan. Even our tree didn't get up when I thought it would. So I decided that it was best to be easier on myself than I wanted to be. So we are keeping it low-key. We aren't stressing that we didn't get it all done. If it does it does... if it doesn't well I am the only one who would be upset... so (shrugs ) the heck with it. We will have a FAR better holiday if I take it easy. Still there is a bit of sadness when I think of the carefully planned ideas I had for crafts and pictures and memories and blog posts and the like. But what good is all THAT if mom is in need of an anti-anxiety script when all is said and done. So I got my kids a chocolate advent calendar... Yeah I know I know I know... and they are counting down... and we are laughing and joking and having a good time.... we are throwing snow non-balls at each other and having ovaltine. and I am sharing those photos with you... So here's to a Christmas that is a little bit less!