Asthma and Airways

A and T have had a cold this week. I had it last week and Dad did too. But colds are a little different if you have a child with Asthma. All of a sudden you are awake all night listening to her breathing. Every cough and inhalation is carefully analysed to determine if an inhaler treatment is needed. For A colds tend to hit her chest harder, and stay longer... and they are scary. T has her own issues. She has an overactive gag reflex so she always ends up throwing up. I can handle that. What I hate is the sour tummy I get as I listen to A wheeze and the lack of sleep as I listen. Last night I had to wake her up to give her an inhaler treatment. Yesterday she came to me in tears because her chest felt so tight. These are things that some mommas don't understand. These are the reasons that she is kept inside until the cough is all gone. These are the reasons I tend to be overprotective of her. And not just me... today it was her Daddy who stopped her and made her breath for him for a second and then jumped up to get the inhaler.
The funny thing is that we all come from a different place, a different set of experiences. The blueprint of our prior lives is what determines how we react to the circumstance that life throws at us.  A momma who has a kid with a strong immune system who has never had an allergic reaction or a wheezy baby may look at me and shake her head. But then when I see her hovering over her child at a playground I may do the same. "What a shame" I think " that child needs to learn to trust herself." And yet perhaps that same child fell last week and suffered ill effects because of that fall, making mom a little more protective. How am I to know that.... and yet I feel free to judge. I feel a degree of self-righteousness as I shake my head and mutter, then smile at my child who is jumping fearlessly from the top platform. THAT is what a mother SHOULD do. Isn't it?
But the answer is simply this: a mother should parent in the best way that she knows how. A mother should never listen to those shoulds..... instead a mother needs to love her child, and herself for doing the best that she can with what she has to work with. And perhaps, if there is enough time or energy when all is said and done a mother can offer a smile to another mother who has a temper tantrum in kids clothing, or a hand of help to that momma with the new baby and well frankly a terrified look on her face. Motherhood is tough. It is the most difficult job that I have ever done... and the most important. So let's all give each other a break.... because I sure know I could use one every now and then.