Thirty days of Thanksgiving- Day 19

Today I did something that I find very difficult. I asked for help for my family. In August my husband injured himself seriously. Surgery repaired the two tendons, two nerves, and the artery that he severed. His fingers are paralyzed and have no feeling and we have always relied on his income for our family. We are making it... by the grace of God we are making it. But it isn't always pretty or easy. Dave has odd jobs that seem to make the bills just in time, and there are some pantries nearby that have been a remarkable help, our church has taken up a collection that helped in the nick of time. Spirit has kept us afloat. 
Today though I went and asked for help. We have an energy assistance program in our state, and I applied to hopefully get help paying for our energy bills through the winter months. Going to this today made me sick to my stomach and nervous. I told the casemanager Dana that and she felt bad... “ this is what we are here for.” she said. Yes... but not for ME. Not for MY FAMILY.
Still when you have little ones you end up swallowing pride. It isn't the first time that I have had to swallow my pride.... and it probably won't be the last. Still I am grateful that programs like this exist for those times when we need them. Without this program making our winter energy bills would be far more difficult. Without the extra from some of those pantries our food budget wouldn't stretch enough. And when people come together to help another it is always amazing. As the recipient I was deeply touched. There are so many ways that we all need help. We all live in this hard world together.... some days I can be the help, some days I have to ask for the help. I have found that it is infinitely more difficult for me to ask for help than it is for me to offer the hand of help. 

So today I am grateful for help. I am grateful for the help that I have received and also for the help that I can offer. We do not live alone in this world... and when we remember that and reach a hand out to the person next to us who needs that hand it is a blessed thing.